Category Archives: Faith


This is my favorite name of Jesus. Emmanuel, God with us.  Even during my times that I wasn’t really with Him, He was with me.

He promised He would never leave or forsake me, and He has kept that promise in spades.

The past three to four years have been tumultuous to say the least, but just when things seemed their most bleak, the Light of his Word, and his Presence just made those things better.  Mother was never as sick as any of the doctors tried to make her out to be, time and time again Dad and my decision to take mother off all her medication because the side effects were causing most of the health issues we were having, and even though doctors had panic attacks and tried to scare or shame us back into a regiment; through my anger and hurt, if I could just take a moment to ask God, I still remember Him saying, didn’t I say to trust me a year ago? What has changed now? Then he told me to look up the side effects of the drug the doctor wanted to put mom back on, and they were the very things we were avoiding. so I refused.

This past month has been another test. I have been learning about casting my cares on the Lord.  So the enemy has given me plenty of opportunity to take up new cares. He has been working on overtime.

Between monetary concerns and Mother health concerns, I have spent a lot of time… rolling over the heavy burdens and shot-putting the others away.  It has almost been a constant struggle.  I have a better understanding of laboring to enter the rest of God.

You should have seen me last Wednesday when we had to be admitted overnight for tests and observation, just to see what mom’s blood flow was like to her feet. Again, because doctors don’t like a person not on some sort of medication… As I would feel the weight of not sleeping, and the upcoming procedure, and all of that, there was a drop off next to where I would stand, and I envisioned throwing all that baggage down there… I prayed, and sometimes I just talked to God.

Emmanuel, God with me… God with me.   God with me and mother.   She didn’t have to have any invasive procedure done, God took care of the creatine levels, so she only had to have a CT scan, which is what we were going for 2 weeks prior. And she was released.

Her blood flow is fine through her legs.  Vindication.

Monday, we went to breakfast, mom ate everything,  and as we took a drive around the duck ponds in university hills, she was humming to the Christmas music playing on the radio.  Not always, and the songs were older ones that she definitely would have known.

Monday night we went to dinner, mom ate almost all her food and some of Christopher’s.. lol.  Tuesday we had some plans, and so I called Dad, and Mom had had about 8 seizures almost in a row. She was basically only breathing.  Dad and Chris had gotten her in from the car to the couch and that was where she had the majority of the seizures.

Years ago, Mom and Dad had signed the living wills.  And Dad and I have agreed that we will not put mom in a facility, and we know she will want to pass from this world to the next at home.  So his voice sounded like he was bracing for something I still wasn’t ready for, even though, I have been letting go in prayer. Let me tell you, it doesn’t hurt any less.

I sat there on my couch, crying, and then I got so angry.  Not at God, at that thing that has the stranglehold on my mother. See, she was healed on the Cross of Jesus. before Alzheimer’s even had a name, Mother was healed. Before they decided Diabetes was a thing, Jesus bore our sicknesses and carried our diseases on his body for our sake.

And in that moment… seething in righteous indignation, and furious anger, I told that thing to let go of my mother. And I got dressed and went to the house.

And mother who had been motionless for hours started brushing the hair out of her face.  She started looking for Dad when she heard his voice.  She bent her leg to take some pressure off her back.

A little later she almost opened her eyes. As soon as she was moving, she was asleep again. Tuesday was a difficult day. We survived, I had gone home to nap before work and then called him and told him he needed to tell my brother and sister.

Tuesday night before work, I called my bosses. I told them what was going on and that I would still work, because, I needed to, and they needed me to. God has so blessed me with caring bosses.

Wednesday morning, I went to see mom and dad, and not really much improvement, but as I watched her so that dad could take my nephew to work and my niece to school, I changed the channel to Christmas movies, and mom took notice, and turned her head. I was physically exhausted, and mentally overworked, emotionally, I was stronger.  But dad hadn’t gotten in touch with my sister, so I called her. About 25 years ago, I had to tell her that Opa had died, because mom and dad were at the hospital, and she had practice after school, and while other had hope, then pain, she only had pain.

I don’t feel like I share that news well… I get kinda clinical about it. as fast as I can go through the events… and I just felt like I did that to her again on Wednesday.

Emmanuel, mom had some other improvements. And Jenn was able to spend most of the afternoon and evening with mom and dad.  And she called me, because I am still working nights and have to sleep.  We discussed trying to get mom to drink some coke like when you use the straw to let a little bit go in their mouths.  it worked, and annoyed mother so much she was grabbing the straws.

By the end of Wednesday, Jenn had been able to help mom drink out of the straw, mom took her time, but figured it out.

This morning, I stopped to get me some coffee and Dad some, so I got there when dad was leaving to take niece to school, and I went into the house.

Mom was awake.  as I was putting my stuff down, she said Hi to me.  I changed the channel to Christmas movies again…. and she responded.  I called Jenn, and while I was talking mom was talking.  I said to Jenn, “God is Good” and mom said “Yes”.   and by this evening, Jenn sent my a pic of mom sitting up, with clean clothes on, she even ate some macaroni and cheese and had some coke.

Emmanuel has been with us.  is with us, surrounding us with His goodness and peace.  I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I do know who I have let hold it, and we will face tomorrow together.



Faith, writing, teaching.

Tonight I was looking back at some of the posts I have made, and I had forgotten several of them.

So I reread them, and I was pretty astounded, they sounded pretty good.  They didn’t sound that dissimilar to other posts created by professional writers.  Of course, just like I tell my sister, generally if I don’t remember saying something that impacted her, it wasn’t me, it was just my mouth and something Holy Spirit was saying.

So I am glad He is so articulate, because it impressed me.  It reminded me of my Junior year in High School in honors English, doing that dreaded term paper.  When I got back my report, my teacher wrote next to several of my topic sentences, “Sounds Bookish”. I remember going up to her after class and asking her what that meant, and she basically accused me of plagiarism, but since she could find no proof, because I didn’t plagiarize them, I am just that good at writing, when I am encouraged… well you get the picture.

I guess it actually took me almost 15 to 20 years to realize what she meant as an accusation, was actually a very strong compliment.  She thought my Topic sentences to my paragraphs were of such quality that they could be published.

Now, for some reason, earlier in my English classes, I remember learning how to make really strong Beginnings.  I don’t remember as much emphasis on the body of the work, and I certainly have had issues with conclusions.  It’s a lot like comma usage, lots of times I feel like I either missed that day in class, or I might have been daydreaming, you can never tell with me.

I am such an auditory learner, and skimmer when reading, there honestly is no telling.

Anyway, like I was saying, she definitely thought I had lifted those sentences from somewhere else, but had no proof, when ironically, a few years later, I actually caught a term report that was pretty blatantly plagiarized by a student, because it was about the very author I was reporting on, and I had picked up and read the same books, and then read the passages in the report. (the same errors that were in the book about the story were in the paper, word for word and that was only one of the instances unfortunately there were several)

What I didn’t know, was that student was still enrolled in that University, and I think I got them into trouble, but no, I didn’t, they did, they made the mistake that was found out.

I suppose if you look at my life, I love to read, and I love the creative force of writing.

Mother is this amazing artist, some day I will share some of her works with you all. I got words, I really don’t have the patience to draw.

Every once in a while, I can hold my own, depending on the medium, and the subject.  I can oil crayon the best paper bag you’ve ever seen.  Mostly, a first grader has more natural talent than I do.

And that is O.K. with me.  See, I never felt like I had to compete with anyone.  And the cool thing, is all of Mom’s kids and grandkids are creative. All with different mediums, but all creative.

A large part of that is whether they know it or not, God is the All Powerful Creator, and he created us to create.  Regardless of whether it is life, or art, or food, or words, or music.

So words are my big thing.  I would rather find the correct word and use one as opposed to several to convey a meaning.  I remember writing one thing and this guy that I was just obsessed with looked at me and said I needed counseling.  that was crushing. I read the same passage to a friend from work, and he told me that he could see the picture I was painting like it was a movie in front of him.

Guess which stuck with me more and kept me from writing for several years? You are correct, the negative (incidentally that was that same guy that told me that God didn’t expect him to change, I was really wrapped up in that guy, God had to move me back home and 3 hours away from him to free me of that mess)

So, I am working on, not being influenced by the negative.  I had an interview for a possible promotion at work a few weeks ago.  They chose someone else, no worries, I had already told God, that I knew that would mean He just had other plans and I was good either way.

Anyway, one of the questions was about “criticism” then, she changed it to constructive criticism, when did that ever help me and how would I blah blah blah… I don’t remember the rest of it because I was dumbfounded at criticism

Let me get this straight, I am a first born, and sometimes a very cranky first born, so I can be very critical of things, especially if I am tired or hungry or upset or just empty spiritually. However, I find nothing constructive about criticism.  I find it destructive, and divisive and hurtful, and most of the time petty.  Color me all of the above when I become super cranky pants.

What builds, is instruction, it’s taking the time to teach and grow the other person’s knowledge and confidence. It isn’t tearing down, it’s holding up when they can’t hold themselves up.  it is bearing with each other, and instead of jumping to conclusions of someone’s motives, stopping and praying, and seeking the heart of the matter and choosing to see the best in the other no matter what.

So many times, we assume the worst. And we need to change our focus.

We have to learn to trust our Creator that He knows and that He always, always, always has our best interests in His heart for us. When we have that confidence, we can take correction, or discipline, and it is a light thing, because He teaches us and shows us His ways.

I’m thinking I have crossed over like 3 different subjects with this blog. For those of you that know me intimately, you know that actually is my way.

Love you, peace.





I have been working on a baby afghan for the new daughter of mother’s physical therapist.  I have this beautiful variegated thread, and I bought enough to probably make a king sized blanket.. lol.. I digress.  I made a fatal mistake, I followed the instructions on the binding on how to use the thread.  It said to squish down the tubular skein into a big ball looking configuration.  And, the knots.. oh my word the knots… I finally just had to stop and try to pull out all the knots and roll up the thread myself. It has been tedious work, and many times, men have come and offered scissors to cut it to make it easier.  That isn’t what I want. Those of you that crochet know that a knot in the middle of a dainty piece is difficult to hide.

Anyway, as I have been working on the thread, I heard, or I thought, or.. I don’t know, I realized that I was taking one knotted thing with no discernible design into a knotted something created for beauty and a purpose.

When people talk about how difficult crochet or knitting are, I always just say its just a series of knots you are making, actually, depending on the type of afghan you are making, it is really just one long knot built up upon itself to create.

So, I’m working on staying patient and sometimes making it, other times getting a bit frustrated because just when you get started it snares up again.

And since God usually does speak to me in these types of object lessons I suppose… it has really clarified some things I want to share with you.

Sometimes, doing what the “instructions” that are supposed to help aren’t very helpful at all.  They can cause a larger problem than you ever intended. which can be irritating especially when you followed those “instructions” to avoid such issues, and they just exacerbated the situation.

Then I began to see, how, I had to work the knots.  Sometimes, I’m pulling right at the beginning, but other times, I am having to attack the knot way back in the body of the thread, to loosen up and allow the thread to move.  I think we see God do that with us too.  We might not even realize why we are told to deal with something totally unrelated to what we are asking for, or working towards, because we are the knot. and we can’t always see what the obstacles are, but He does.

I also see that again at the point of the knot (the part that holds the thread too tight to move) in the beginning, sometimes we get going really good and then its a complete stop.  Sometimes, it’s the same part of thread that chokes the flow, and other times, it’s a new part.  The end is the same, our progress is choked off, stifled, stopped, until we take the time to unknot that part.  I think it’s why we can get so frustrated with ourselves thinking… “I conquered this already… why am I facing it again?” The simple fact, this is a new level of the knot, and you haven’t gone as backwards as you think you have, and you need to give God the credit and see your knotted self the way He does, beautiful thread that is worth the work, to make into an even more beautiful piece used for His glory and purpose.

I sit here amazed at thinking about that, I know how stubborn I have been insisting on unraveling this knot, and not just moving on to another skein of thread, because I see the worth and value and challenge of this skein.  This skein I chose to make a beautiful blanket for a beautiful child to honor a family that we love not only for the way he is so gentle and loving with mom, but also just because they are.

How much more stubborn, (steadfast) is our Father, he never gives up on getting the knots out that the world, and we ourselves have put in our lives, to weave us into something amazingly beautiful.

Love you.


We are an earthen vessel, easily damaged, easily broken, and sometimes easily thrown away by those that were supposed to love us most.

There are times our damage, our brokenness comes from our own failings, our missteps, and we allow condemnation to keep us broken and dysfunctional. Other times the damage comes from things out of our control; however if you are anything like me you still think we should have been able to stop it, or fix it, or change it,  and we still sit under condemnation because we only see our shortcomings, our failures, our brokenness and not the one that hurt us so.

I was reading this lovely blog by a Beautiful young lady the other day.  She was speaking of her brokenness and how step by step, Jesus was putting her back together. And it reminded me of the Kintsugi pottery. I could see piece by piece Our Father taking each part and binding it back together and then highlighting our brokenness and his wholeness by precious gold. I love this Japanese tradition that doesn’t allow a broken thing to just be tossed out like trash.  Those artists see the beauty in creation, even in the midst of destruction, they still find beauty.



They weave gold in between the cracks to highlight the scars, to bring beauty and awe to the once destroyed object.

Psalms 147:3 “He heals he brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Jesus came. He came for us. He was sent to bind up the brokenhearted and to set us free. Far too often, we are ashamed of our past our failings.  I admit there are lots of things about me that I just don’t want people to know.  Things I only share when necessary, but the scars can still be visible in the reaction I have to something.


Change is difficult. Healing is so difficult because usually it involves cleaning out the old wound which is painful, and letting it breath, and then packing it so that it can heal from the inside out so that infection doesn’t take over the whole body.

Just when we think we’ve healed from a hurt, something comes up and we doubt ourselves because we are still affected by a word, a look, a slight.  But I see it like this.

I walk through a valley. Valleys are wide when you are far from the mountains and we can carry lots of  bags with us.  Perhaps even multiple bags from years of brokenness of the same hurt. We lay some of the burden down, Jesus takes it and we walk on. As we near the mountain, the valley becomes less wide.  I can’t drag as many bags through, they keep getting snagged on rocks.  I recognize I still hurt over that issue.  I give it to Jesus. He takes it, we move on.  Did I not heal the first time? Did I take the burden back? Sometimes yes, most times no, it’s a new level of healing.  Our Father loves us so much that he is so patient with us. He knows wounds do not heal overnight, they take time, they have to heal layer by layer, and sometimes they have to be cut open a little more to make proper room to heal.

He is ever at our side, binding our hearts back together bit by bit, sliver by sliver, and then covering that with precious gold. The gold brings honor to where condemnation once sat. Makes beautiful what was once so horrendous we weren’t sure we would ever truly recover.

His love for us is so real and massive right now I can’t even find the words to say what I want to say about that. I am again filled with awe at what a wonder savior Jesus is.  I am dumbstruck at a Father that would move heaven and earth for me, send His son to die in my place, to be broken and destroyed to pay my debts and the debts of those that I hurt, or that hurt me.  And then would raise up His son so that we could be a part of the fellowship again.

I am amazed that His grace abounds to us in such a measure, favor that we don’t deserve, peace we haven’t earned. And the gift of the friendship and companionship of Holy Spirit. He is ever with us. guiding, loving and holding us.

He gives us beauty for ashes, he redeems us.  He calls out to us like when he sent Hosea to bring his wife home telling us, no matter what you’ve done, or what’s been done. He is quick to welcome us back home. He sanctifies us for Him and His purpose.  He uses those scars that he has glorified with his Blood and gold from the refiner’s fire to draw others home.

Never think for one moment that anything you have done or gone through is a wasted step or opportunity.  He is the Great Redeemer for a reason, and even if we were out of step, even if it was our fault, even if it was something so heinous that it breaks our hearts, He is the one holding us together patiently, painstakingly binding us and setting us free.


Love you, may the peace of the Lord that passes all understanding sing to your heart today, His song of love.





I am sure that I didn’t post these pictures where you can see the person that actually took them, sorry I am still learning. These images are from a google search of Kintsugi.  There are so many examples of this art form.








A Deeper Look at the Fall

I had intended to continue through to Cain and Abel, and how rejection caused issues, and we will, but I just can’t let go of the Garden yet.

I think it’s very important to see how the serpent, the most cunning being deceived Eve.  How did he build trust? How did he infiltrate the relationship between the Creator and those created in his image?  What very important lessons must we learn to safeguard ourselves from this very attack?

Let’s look at his methods.  He was knowledgeable.  Sure did seem to know what was happening, didn’t he? He sure did have a plan too.  He knew the word, knew what God had said, and he knew how to play to the crowd.  Now, Adam and Eve are not exempt from this either.

Just look at what God said, Do not eat of the tree… and what she said, we can’t even touch it or we will die…..who added? Adam because he just didn’t want to explain it? Or Eve in her comfort of letting the relationship be more Adam and God.  I can’t really tell, there are convincing arguments for both actually. Also, we have this tendency to add to stories, don’t we? Fishes get bigger, our reactions get broader to offenses, on and on. So really no telling, however….

By adding to what God the Creator had said, a door was opened.  Instead of obedience, discussion of what He meant and His motives came into play, all because addition was made to the Word spoken.

So what does that teach us?

When we add to the word, we open doors. We invite rejection into our lives because we open the door to sin, and sin brings rejection, separation from the presence of God.

Blood is the only thing that obliterates that sin. The Blood of Jesus to be exact.  One drop of that precious man’s sacrifice brings us home. Are we perfect? of course not. Are we redeemed? most assuredly, yes.

I suppose the reason why I started this whole thing about rejection is because we all sit under such condemnation.  Let me be completely clear, that condemnation is NOT from God, Holy Spirit does not condemn us, Jesus did not condemn us, Our Father does not condemn us.

We condemn ourselves because we question our salvation, we put chains around us making all those things that brings us life a chore and a to do list something to shout at us when we fail to hold up our standard that we raised against ourselves, not standards that the Father set for us.

I feel compelled to exhort you to read, to immerse yourself in the biographies of Jesus.  See that the only ones that were rejected were those who felt they had all the answers and rejected the one and only savior.

Read of his love for us when he took on our infirmities and carried our diseases, when he willingly went to the cross because he wanted us home.

I have a nephew that is serving Our Father and our country in the USAF right now.  He is several states away.  I have a family member that is far away from home.  If he needed me, I would move heaven and earth to get to him and bring him home to safety.  How much more did our creator? I have a mother that we are fighting health issues, I have done everything in my power to make her life as easy for her and dad as possible, how much more our creator?

I know I was going to show how rejection was dealt with all through the books of the Bible, but, now I feel so compelled to strengthen our most holy faith in the lover of our soul.  Compelled to immerse myself instead in the one that came to obliterate rejection, that destroyed condemnation, that propels us to victory.

Love you, God bless you, and may today be a day you experience a new extraordinary wave of the love of God for you.



Dive In

I have had the extreme privilege of having almost weekly phone calls with my nephew that is serving Our Father and our nation in the USAF.  I am so proud of him, not because of his service, not because he’s my nephew, not because he’s awesome; but because of what Our Father is doing with his life, because he has opened his life to Him.

Let me tell you a tiny bit about him.  He is actually quite different from me, while there are some similarities.  He is talented and passionate. His emotions can be right out there, ready to face the world, willing to give you the sun moon and stars.  I, on the other hand, am much more reserved.  Where he thrives on community and companionship, I mostly crave solitude.  “Hermit, party of one” is very easy for me to slip into.  I believe we both crave real relationships with depth and purpose, that is a very important outcome of our family.

So in these talks, I have had the awesome joy of seeing his excitement of developing his relationship with Our Father, and with Holy Spirit, and now with Jesus, the Lover of our souls, Our first born brother. wow that just brought up a whole new thing for me to think about, being a first born myself, really, I am not.

Recently, and I hear this over and over, I say it myself, it’s in our mindset.  It is the “have to” (I have to pray, I have to read the Bible, I have to ….) you get the picture.

What we spoke about was, yes those things are necessary to maintain a relationship, however, if we relegate it to a chore, then there is no joy, or real relationship. Only duty and service, and didn’t our Brother tell us that there will be many who say “Lord, we did all this in your name… and He will tell them  depart from me I never knew you.”

Wow, and Woe, you never knew me? I went to church, and I even taught Sunday school and I served the widows of the church, but you never knew me?  My heart breaks for those that He is desperately trying to communicate with, and fill with love and joy and peace, and yet we are so busy doing, we aren’t being sons… another point to ponder later.

I have a strong suspicion, that if we want to truly move in all the power and knowledge of Holy Spirit, if we really want to be effective for that one person, if we really desire to do great things for Our Father, we need to change our language.

Do we need to read the Bible? of course, Do we need to pray? certainly, Do we need to spend time with our creator? you know the answer to that.

Do we need to eat? Do we need to breathe? Do we need to bathe, sleep, laugh, cry? See where I am going with this?

Very few of us turn eating into a chore. Our bodies signal us that we have hunger, and depending on our kitchen situation, we either spend a lot of time preparing a meal, or going somewhere where someone else has prepared food.  The point is, we make a plan, we want to eat, our body says…HEY and we say woohoo… what do I want to eat? Who do I want to eat with? How can I make this an event?

We want to eat, we want to sleep, we want to be with people.

We want to spend time in the Word, with Our Father. We want to know Him, we want to know He is with us, we want to know we belong.

Of course the truth is all of those things, but if you don’t KNOW it, if you spend anytime questioning your salvation, it’s because you’ve starved yourself, and your mind is confusing you.

I want to encourage you, if your desire is Him, the only way to truly know Him is to know His Word.  We can get all caught up in how worship and the anointing makes us feel, but we are called to not walk by feelings, but to walk by faith.

The only way faith comes is by hearing and hearing and hearing.  Depending on what faith you want, is what you fill your ears with.  If you want faith that you are a loser and a bad boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife or child…. you hear those things… Wait, you didn’t want that belief?…. ok, I wouldn’t either, and Our Father never intended that to be your belief either.

So how do we combat that wrong thinking? How do we develop God faith, the mountain moving, dead raising, nation creating, sea splitting faith? The only way I know is by hearing what He says. And the only way I know to do that is to submerge yourself into His Words of life He left for you.

Without being submerged in His Word, you have no true barometer to test prophetic utterances.

Without being submerged, you have no foundation.

Without being submerged, you have no roots, and you are easily tossed about, easily offended, easily moved off course.

So, my challenge to my nephew, was to Dive in to the first 4 books of the New Testament. I know we are taught they are called the Gospels, but actually, they are 4 biographies of the One that gave His entire life for us.

Jesus is the gospel, He is the Good news that God is for us and not against us. If you want to know God’s love, you have to know Jesus.

The only way to know him, is to dive in to his biographies.

Dive in to John, he wrote about Jesus as Love.

Dive in to Luke, he wrote about how Jesus listened to Holy Spirit, and was led in power by the Spirit, even when it was difficult, Jesus was still led.

Dive into Mark, he’s the power guy, you wanna see the power? Mark is for you.

And if you have any questions of Jesus’s authenticity, Matthew answers your every question, and you begin to see that while the Father had to put everything in black and white for us, it is a matter of the heart as far as He is concerned with us.

So the challenge is this. Dive in! Dive in to the story of the Lover of our souls, the author and perfector of our faith, our big brother.

If you want to walk in Love, if you want to walk in power, if you want to do great and mighty things for God, Dive in! Immerse yourself in Jesus. Desire to know him and be like him, and your hunger will change the chore to a joy.

As I was mulling over this conversation last night, I was reminded of so many of our brothers and sisters before us and their relationships and power.

I mean, John the apostle, they couldn’t even boil him… they had to exile him.

Smith Wigglesworth, a plumber in England, illiterate, but came to know God, and determined by faith, that Holy Spirit would teach him to read the Word of God.  And He did, that man never allowed any other publication in his home only the word, and he raised people from the dead.

Madame Guyon, she was rapturous about being with God.

Brother Lawrence, one of his examples was when he was in the kitchen and wasn’t focused on Holy Spirit, but Holy Spirit wanted to talk, and there he is peeling potatoes with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Take a look at some of these siblings, it will change your world.

But even if you never read those.. it’s ok, Dive in to God, and He will show you all things that pertain to life and godliness.  He will guide you.

Love you, Dive In!!!






The Garden and the Man

Now we are going to go to the Garden. Psalms 8 again out of the New King James version.

O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is your name in all the earth, You who set Your glory above the heavens! Out of the mouth of babes and infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger. When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your finger, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen – even the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea that pass through the paths of the seas. O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth!

So we were created to rule, and crowned with glory and honor.  So what happened? Why are we here instead, very much not in control, but doing our best to control every situation and everyone?

Let’s look at what happened in that Garden that started all this.

When God the All Powerful Creator created this world, He created man in His image and then He placed him in the middle of the Garden. He told him to take care of everything and gave him all the fruit of the trees to eat except one…. just one: the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That one was to not be eaten, but still tended, still taken care of.

So God set the man in the Garden, gave him his position and assignment, and all the food he could eat and just one thing that he couldn’t eat.

And God knew that it wasn’t good for man to be alone that it was all too much for him, he needed a helper.  We watch God create the animals and parade them in front of the man and he named them one by one, to see if a helper was among them. Then we see that not one was suitable, so he created the female out of the man’s rib.

And the man seems to be pretty excited by it, calling her woman, and the Father liked what  He saw for his precious creation and blessed them.  We see in the Genesis 1: 27-31

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God  He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food. Also, to every beast of the earth, to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, in which there is life, I have given every green herb for food;” and it was so. Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.

So Genesis 2: 8-9 tells us:

The LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. And out of he ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Sometimes I think we say to ourselves.. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the story of the creation,”  and we can forget key elements.  There was only one tree that man was commanded not to eat. The tree of life, man was welcome to eat from freely.

We also see in chapter 2 that man was told he needed to tend to the garden and could eat of any tree except the one tree, and we see it is before the woman enters the scene.

But in the beginning of chapter 3 we see the cunning serpent, and he goes after the woman.  Ever wonder why? Could it be that he knew that she wasn’t there to hear God tell the man for herself how to tend to the garden and the one thing they were prevented from doing? Or, maybe it could just be that women tend to be more trusting? Or, that we are more in touch with our emotions. I don’t have an answer, I kind of think it is all of them, but that’s just me.

Anyway, we see him come up to her and ask her, “Did God really say you shall not eat of every tree in the garden?”

She answered ” Oh we can eat the fruit, but not of the tree in the middle of the garden, we can’t even touch it, or we will die.”  Notice how her answer adds to the commandment? How many times have we done that? When that happens, we can get into some trouble.

Now here is where rejection was seeded.  Genesis 3: 4-5

And the serpent said to the woman, “You will surely not die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

What is he saying to her? Meh, you won’t die,  God’s just rejected you as good enough to be like Him and He just won’t let you eat of that fruit because you will be like Him, and He doesn’t want you to be like Him.  He has rejected you but if you eat this not only will you not die, but you will be like Him, not even needing Him.

So she mulled it over, wanted to be like Him. She was convinced that she needed it; didn’t think she would die, for some reason trusted the serpent over God, and took the fruit and ate, and then gave to her husband, and he rejected the Father as well and chose the female and ate too.

Can you imagine, since we have such hindsight, making that choice? What about making up more rules than God gave that bind us and open us up for failure.

With one simple bite, everything changed. They had rejected God and His ways and found that the glory and honor they had been crowned with were gone, and they tried to cover themselves by their own means.

So when they heard the sound of the LORD God coming, they hid, they had rejected God’s way, made a terrible mistake and didn’t know how to repent from the mistake. I think that they thought if they stayed hidden, God would just walk on by and they could put it off a moment longer.

But the Father didn’t just go, he called after Adam, and Adam answered and sort of confessed, I was afraid because I was naked.

Isn’t it funny that God then said.. “Who told you, you were naked? Did you eat of the tree I told you not to eat from?”  Have you ever had one of those moments? Where God asks you, who told you that?

We see Adam passing the buck and blaming God and the woman, and we see the woman tattling on the serpent, and suddenly, the serpent is silent. For someone who had so much to say before, in the presence of the Lord, he was tongue tied.

So God had to separate from his creation, and he had to show them that leaves were not an acceptable sacrifice for the transgression, and because sin had entered this beautiful world, He had to send them out of the garden so that they did not eat of the tree of life and be separated from Him forever. So the Creator that made us in His image had to be parted from us with a few exceptions like Enoch, and had to wait on the fulfillment of the promise of His Son to bring us together again.

Look, we might get hoodwinked into believing something wrong, or making the wrong decisions, but let’s take responsibility and repent, and because of the Blood of Jesus, God puts us right back on the right path, and sometimes it is very quick in coming but sometimes, it takes a moment.

You see, even after God had to lay down the consequences of their actions, He had a promise through the female that would once and for all defeat the serpent.  I want you to see that there is always a promise for us. He always has a promise for us.  And even though rejection entered in the garden the promise is acceptance. Acceptance through the Blood of Jesus, and because of that, there is no rejection from the Father.

I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but I can’t help it, it’s just so good some of the things I have been hearing, that I totally want to jump in and tell you. But I also know we need to really dive into this so that when we are freed from this this enemy will stand before us no more.

Love Y’all. Thank you for reading this and sharing it if it has affected you in any way like it has affected me.

Grace and Peace be yours.

The beginning of rejection.

When I was still playing coy with God, that same dear friend that pushed me back into teaching, called me one night to listen to a speaker she had heard at a conference she had attended at Glory of Zion ministries.  The lesson had a profound effect on her, and she knew I needed to hear it, and she made me promise that I would listen to it, that night because they were about to trade that lesson out for another.

I promised, and I did listen, it didn’t have the same immediate impact on me as it did to her, but then again she had been to the conference and the words had already been working in her and was ready to explode. I knew the teaching was important I could feel it as I tucked it away in my heart to mull over and process.  It was Chris Hayward speaking about Rejection.  And it is a powerful message. I highly recommend that you try to find it maybe I can find something about it if you are interested, actually what I will do is make that dear friend get it.. lol…

Anyway, it has been amazing seeing how so much goes back to rejection, how we cope with it, how we conquer it. I think this has been mulling around for at least a month now.  And I’m already writing again because I was watching a program, and a young man, Kyle Winkler has a book out and when he was talking about it, he mentioned rejection, and feeling rejected.

My dear brothers and sisters…. our Father is trying to tell us something!!! This is very important, we have to understand this so that nothing can taint our faith any longer, nothing can hold back all that our Father has for us, because, we come from stock that was and is Blessed to be a Blessing, and it is time to stand up with the spirit of Joshua and Caleb and take the land for our brothers and sisters.

So let us start at the beginning.  Isaiah tells us that Lucifer, the most beautiful creation created by God became full of pride and rejected God as King and sought to seat himself as the exalted one.


For the LORD will have mercy on Jacob, and will still choose Israel, and settle them in their own land. The strangers will be joined with them, and they will cling to the house of Jacob. Then people will take them and bring them to their place, and the house of Israel will possess them for servants and maids in the land of the LORD; they will take them captives whose captives they were, and rule over their oppressors.

Sounds like our Father hasn’t rejected Israel doesn’t it? Once again He not only turns back to His people when they turn to Him, but lifts them up in victory.

and then in Isaiah 14:12-19

How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’ Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, to the lowest depths of the Pit. Those who see you will gaze at you, and consider you saying: ‘Is this the man who made the earth tremble, who shook the kingdoms. who made the world as a wilderness and destroyed its cities, who did not open the house of his prisoners?’ All the kings of the nations, all of them, sleep in glory, everyone in his own house; but you are cast out of your grave like an abominable branch, like the garment of those who are slain, thrust through with a sword, who go down to the stones of the pit like a corpse trodden under foot.

These passages are taken from the New King James version.

Wow talk about rejection!  What I need us to see is that Lucifer rejecting God and seeking to assert himself to a place he was not created to occupy netted the result of his extreme rejection by the Father.

So Lucifer rejected his calling and sought to overthrow God’s kingdom and rightful place; but God removed him from all he had been before. He lost everything. And then he sees God do a new thing, and create this man, this being with the very breath of God filling his lungs, and his heart burned with revenge.

Next time we will discuss how that seed was planted on this earth.

Blessings and peace be unto you..

Love y’all!!!!

My first Blog

I have a dear friend that has really been after me to start teaching again, and I must admit, I have really missed teaching. There is nothing like seeing revelation register in the eyes of someone that gets what you are teaching, and seeing them run with that revelation and it changing their lives. My nephew, who had traveled through a crisis of faith, as we call them, told me the other day how he remembered some of the things I taught them in Sunday School all those years ago.

That’s the power of words, the power of thought, the power of reason. Those are some of the most powerful gifts that our Father has given us.

I love to write, honestly, there is nothing that boosts my inner core more than creating a story. Music does as well, but creating something I believe brings us all closer to our Father who is the ultimate creator.

So now, I think I am finally ready, partly because things with my parents have calmed down a bit, and partly because of the work the Father has been doing in my life.

My parents are aging and have faced some health issues associated with that, with some added due to poor diet, or lack of sleep or activity.  It’s been a long almost 3 years tending to mom’s needs and I am still doing my best to help my parents.  I’m not going to lie, the first year was excruciating, but so much of that was my anger at Mom for allowing her health to deteriorate to such a dire state.  There were so many fights, her thinking she could take care of herself, and the reality that she couldn’t.  Finally I learned that her most cranky days were because she really felt awful, but had no way to really communicate what was happening in her body.

It’s really difficult when I remember the force of nature my mother was, and now in so many ways is like a child.  I have to watch and interpret what is really happening with her.  Dad is with her all the time, and so many times, he lets those things go unnoticed, but, I have seen that not always, and if I can get him alone, we can talk about what we really think we should do for mother.

I only share these things because they are a part of me. They have molded the person I am today as opposed to yesterday.  Perhaps they will resonate with you as well.

Our Father has been dealing with me for a while now.  Now with me He is gentle and long suffering, (boy is He long suffering), because He knows that although I seem strong, deep within my core I can be tentative, timid.  However I have a distinct feeling that as we travel this journey studying how rejection can strangle our relationships, we will both become not only free, but bold and a force unstoppable forever.

I’ve never had issue with believing in God’s promises for you.  But the bottom line is that for me, I never really was that sure.  And I always thought that teaching about faith and receiving the promises of our Father missed some steps.

Now, several years later, I was right, there were missing steps, but not necessarily dealing with walking by faith, but having a heart ready to receive.

From the beginning of time, I am seeing that rejection has been the biggest blocker of all that the Father has designed for us.

Rejection takes many forms, and is the root of many other negative roadblocks that hinder us having the triumphant life.

My prayer is that as we walk this journey of faith, we will obliterate those lies, and begin to fully see our Father and His promises move in our lives.

May the Father of all peace and understanding empower your life to boldly go forth and conquer all he has sent before you.